Understanding Stress in Retirement
Stress in retirement is a very real issue that, until very recently, has not received the attention it warrants. It is now emerging as a hot topic - principally because of the number of baby boomers now having reached or approaching retirement.
Researchers know all about the stresses associated with a working life, raising children, trying to make ends meet and so on. But the circumstances causing stress for retirees are different, and often require different methods of management.
So what is stress? In a nutshell, it is overloading the brain with too many demands, worries and 'noise'. Too much pressure build-up without any form of release with cause stress.
I have a friend who used to say to me "Don't tell me any more! I haven't got room in my brain for that right now - I'll have to get rid of something first to make space." We all used to laugh at this, but in reality, she probably knew her limits and vocalized what we perhaps all should do - don't overload the system.
Stress in those over 55 is usually caused by several different, often unrelated factors. They can include people coming to you with their problems, you might worry about your children and grandchildren, their finances, education, marriages etc. Many retirees spend quality time reading newspapers (now that they have the time) and some really worry about the state of the world, natural disasters and crime.
As people get older they often develop sleep problems and physical illness, and some may care for unwell partners. All of these can contribute to your stress levels, especially if you have no support and no form of release.
If you suspect someone you know of being stressed, you have probably noticed the following symptoms:
- Teariness
- Irritability
- Feeling helpless
- Panic attacks
- Heart palpitations
Stress is not the same as depression although one can lead to the other. People who are depressed may have feelings of low self esteem, are constantly tired and miserable, and may have thoughts of suicide.
Unfortunately there no magic bullet to cure stress. It is very helpful to seek professional advice from a therapist who can help you get to the causes of your stress.
Case Study
Kathleen Anderson (not her real name) had managed a very successful small business for over 40 years, and also raised a family and cared for a terminally ill spouse. She was good a juggling tasks and managing her time well, and she so much looked forward to her retirement years.
It was only a few months after retiring that she wished she was back at work. Her children began leaving the grandchildren with her, without regard for her changing lifestyle and commitments. Her friends began 'dropping in' on her at all hours of the day and night, without warning.
She was put upon to join, and chair, committees, clubs, sporting groups etc because of her business acumen - she had trouble saying 'no'. When she sought medication to help her cope she was referred to a counsellor who made her realize that she didn't actually have a problem that needed medication, it was the other people in her life that had the problems.
Kathleen was shown tools to help her begin saying 'no'. She tackled the kids first, and had keys at the ready to begin leaving the house next time they dropped in with the grandchildren. She was off to an appointment, and that it might be best if they called before dropping in next time.
She put together a routine to stick to for the next 6 months - with no more than one meeting, and one other commitment (be it sport, lunch, whatever) per day. She was not to accept any more committee positions unless she relinquished an existing one first.
Kathleen was to block of a period each day for herself - take the phone of the hook and lie down, meditate, read a few chapters of a book, write a letter - whatever she chose.
Although the only people who were a little miffed at these actions were her children, it didn't take long for Kathleen to regain control of her life, and lose the stress into the bargain.
Kerry Anne Finch is an accomplished marketer, with proven successes in corporate and NFP PR, event management and hugely successful product launch programs.
Kerry has founded a new website Over55s specifically for the Baby Boomer/55+ age group, with features that include Travel, Hobbies, Health and Sport (http://www.over55s.com). Contributions from members are not only welcome, but are encouraged.
Currently Kerry divides her time between launching and managing her new website, her internet writing business, and gathering material through her role as an international tour director.
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